I am sure that many people would like to have possibility to cure that feeling of being overworked and overwhelmed, without sacrificing career advancement or progress on your most important goals. I am also sure that majority of people across the globe feel overwhelmed a lot or all of the time. Overwhelm has become sort of ”normal thing”!
Do you know what causes You to become overwhelmed? I know about myself. Through daily introspection I am doing over the last two years, I came to conclusion that basically they are three main reasons why do we feel like this .Yet, there is always fear behind – fear of this, fear of that, fear of life!
So, first, we fear of missing out something. Second, we fear of disappointing others. Last but not least, being so passionate about our “stuff” (whatever you consider as ”your stuff”) that we want to use up every available minute of the day doing it, forsaking any time to rest or recover.
So how to ”cure” yourselves? Please try to consider the following suggestions in terms of the methodology how to tackle that feeling of overwhelm:
- Don’t compare highlight of others with your everyday life – Try to keep in mind that everything you see on social media is really just the highlight reel of people’s lives. I heard many times girls to describe Facebook as the life everyone would have if they were living in the TV series Sex and the City.
- Understand that no one has it all – we have to remember that nobody truly has it all. A perfect family, a perfect career, a perfect body and great mental health? I don’t think so. I have a good friend who was always “great.” Over a lunch where I confided in her my struggles with stress from work , when it was her turn to share everything was “just great.” I later found out she was battling breast cancer at that time. In other words, she never had it all, and ended up with nothing.
- Understand that other people’s goals are not your goals – it’s only natural to be influenced by our peers, but we must remember that as much as we may love our friends and families, it’s okay to have different values and priorities in life. Just because your friend or husband have a PhD, doesn’t mean you should stay in school pursuing higher education. Just because your neighbor makes a fortune as a venture capitalist, doesn’t mean you need to pursue a career in business. Your values—what you truly want from life—are your values. That’s what makes you, you.
- Understand that your priorities may not be priorities at all -Sometimes we need to realize that what we think is a priority, is maybe just something that might be nice to have and it is not really that important after all. I am routinely approached by friends and strangers who tell me with a note of envy that I’m so lucky and they would love to do my job and have my lifestyle, too. And yet none of them have ever tried to change anything in their lives but preferred to remain in they comfort zone.
- Get comfortable with disappointing others – This is a tough one. From the time we are little kids, we are told that it’s good to help others, it’s good to be polite and accommodating, and that arguing or having disagreements is bad. No wonder so many of us struggle with saying no. You have to become comfortable with protecting your time, with establishing boundaries and what you’ll discover is that true friends and true professionals don’t expect you to say yes all of the time. Even if someone is disappointed with your no, they won’t hold it against you.
Last but not least, try to programme yourself to mode I call “let me get back to you
.” If by default we are programmed from childhood to say yes to everything and everyone, we need to reprogram ourselves perhaps not to say “no”—because that is very difficult for many—but instead to just say, “let me get back to you.”
Of course after saying “let me get back to you,” you could get back to them in a few minutes, or the next day, or even a week. That’s the beauty of it. You aren’t locking yourself into a specific time frame and that gives you the time and the comfort to think it through. Perhaps you will decide to say yes, but at least it will be an intentional yes. And for those who have trouble saying no to someone’s face, you can always say let me get back to you, and then give them a polite no via email.
Now imagine simple three overlapping circles whereby representing your 3Ps : Passions, Priorities plus Productivity.
The zone in the middle, where all three circles overlap, should be zone for your personal development . Remember, if you happen to miss any one of these three 3Ps is missing, you will feel it. Hence, your goal should be to take notice, and adjust your life until you are back in the middle – in other words, living in the zone.