How Much Time Do You Have?

I asked the other day group of people crucial question – What would You do if You had have a year to live as of now? Strangely, non of them stated they would continue doing what they do now in their life. In other words being and feeling stuck, unhappy and earning money just to survive, to exist and continue to be unhappy. We know how easy is to get stuck in our mindset for whatever reasons might be. After all, how do You know you really don’t have a year or even less time to live?

Many believe they have years and years ahead. Yet, one single day and you can no longer exist. That’s the fact of life and there is nothing we can do about it. What can we do while is not too late to build and to live life with meaning and passion? Doing what we like and enjoy it wholeheartedly.

Do I Like My Life?

I suggest that you ask yourself honestly – Am I doing really what I like in my life? Ask like you’re doing tomorrow. If your answer is NO, this exercise is can work very well for you. Please share it with your friends, notably young people who tend to be lost and disoriented whereby following dreams and expectations of their parents parents rather their own dreams.

The exercise is called ”value elicitation” and I have already written about it in my two posts while brainstorming about the values and their importance in our lives and so called ”neurological levels”

I have explained in my post  that on the bottom of the pyramid is the environment, where we express our behavior, and you certainly express it differently at home, at workplace, school, social gathering, etc… All these can control our behavior that can turn into complacency.

Are You Your Behavior?

The bottom line is that after some time of practising whether ‘‘good” (positive or constructive) or ”bad” (negative, destructive or unproductive) behavior, your behavior will inevitably turn into a habit and your competency.

However, if that whatever competency you produce unconsciously out of your behavior is a ”bad” one (say, you suffer from procrastination, laziness)...guess what? I am not sure at all whether some of yours competencies are healthy and productive for your life in the longer run.

Above your skills and competencies in the pyramid are your values and beliefs. This is something that actually drives whole our life and consequently changes our physiological and psychical state in a heartbeat.

What Are Your Goals In Life?

When I ask people ”What are your goals in life”. Believe me, that the most frequent answer I get is ”I just want to be happy and have lots of money”, or whatever it is. That’s OK, don’t get me wrong. Value money and financial abundance is OK too, why not. However, what you say might not be congruent in what you value. That’s the point and it may be problematic. Why? Because if you want to be a millionaire but you don’t value money, but rather free time and other things, than it’s not gonna happen!

Consequently, you must be congruent in what you believe and what you value in life. In other words, you need to align your believes and values.

It’s so important to understand your values because when your Environment, Behavior, Beliefs and Values are congruent, guess, what? You will not have to fake any longer.  You’ll be able to freely continue running your life.  According to your rules.

Make A Top Three Values For You

I challenge you with this little exercise.

OK, let’s come back again to the meaning of wording ”value”. Value is something that has supreme meaning to you. Hence, for me personally, one of the most important thing I value in life is an integrity. I simply like people with an integrity these days when we live in a virtual and fake reality. I appreciate and value very much honesty and trust as well-among other values I hold.

What about You?

Make a list and hierarchy of your values.  Start with your top 10. Than brainstorm with yourself. You don’t need to accomplish this exercise today. You can come back tomorrow and re-visit it from time to time.

Out of the first ten, reduce to seven, than, five,…till you come to your TOP THREE VALUES that you genuinely care of and that can seriously shape your life.

In better or in worst. Up to you.

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Mirella Rasic Paolini, Holistički terapeut